How To Write A Letter To A Dying Person – The death of a loved one can throw our lives into intense emotional turmoil, causing us to experience a devastating upheaval that is emotionally draining, overwhelming and confusing. What once was our sense of comfort, stability and support is no longer so. Coping with this circumstance and the pain it brings with it is difficult, to say the least. Not only do we have to navigate through unshared emotions, unheard stories and unspoken things, many of us will try to find closure where there may not be any. One way to help us cope with death is to write our grief in the form of letters to the deceased. While it can bring strong intense emotions that are hard to manage at first, if you stick to it, it can have therapeutic benefits by allowing you to share, say and express your pain through conversation.
In this article, we’ll take a look at how processing pain through letters can benefit you. We will provide tips on how to actually write a letter and provide a sample letter. We’ll also give you tips on what you can say and ideas on what to include during the writing process. Finally, we will complete how to participate in the fire ritual for when you feel it is time to really let go.
How To Write A Letter To A Dying Person
While everyone suffers differently, it’s important to remember that pain isn’t linear and can come and go when you least expect it. According to Harvard Health, there is some research on how revealing deep emotions through writing can help us cope with intense feelings of pain. This is simply because the act of writing emotions, feelings and thoughts on paper releases the stress of holding back the feelings. Writing pain letters allows you to express yourself freely and confidently without judgment and gives you the ability to explore and reflect on death without being chained to your thoughts.
Fiona Apple’s Stirring Handwritten Letter About Her Dying Dog
When you choose to write a letter to a deceased loved one, you are given the opportunity to resolve the conflicting emotions you have about the person. You can share thoughts and emotions that you want them to recognize and you can express what you need for closure. Writing can also help you make room for other thoughts, develop an understanding, or clarify thoughts about death and life. Most importantly, writing helps you preserve the memories you want to keep.
While you may not be able to physically touch your loved one or see them talking to them, choosing to converse aloud or on paper can give you comfort. You can still share your jokes, successes, and failures with the departed and foster a sense of connection with them. It can be very easy to get stuck with the fact that they’re no longer with you, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have conversations with them, even if they’re one-sided, it’s still worth having.
There are no rules on how to write a grief letter to a loved one. The only thing to keep in mind is that you don’t want to change yourself while writing and you don’t want to hold back. However, if you are looking for a step by step guide, try the following:
Find a quiet place to sit where you can be comfortable and undisturbed. This is a good way to gather your thoughts and have some time to think before you start writing your letter. Also, do it at a time of day or night that gives you comfort.
To My Student, On The Death Of Her Grandmother(s)
Choose your favorite writing medium. You want something that makes it easy for you to write and doesn’t stop you from getting your words flowing. If your hand gets stuck easily, writing with pen and paper may not be the best idea. Options include a smartphone, tablet, writing on the computer, using a pen and paper, or writing in a notebook or diary.
There is no right or wrong way to express your emotions. Write without judgment. Tell your loved one exactly how you feel and don’t worry if it’s deep or not. If it helps, use a keepsake such as a commemorative coin or photo engraved keychain to help you feel close to them during the process.
Take your time. Engage in pure honesty, reflection and acceptance. Tell your loved one that you are sorry or that you love her, or that you know that she is dead (happy, satisfied, content, with wit / wisdom).
Take some time to explore the questions that run through your head. It’s okay to brainstorm the questions and write them down. Sometimes seeing the questions on paper helps you decide if they are relevant or significant to your letter and what you want to express.
Mom Writes Letter To Daughter Before Dying
If these sentences aren’t enough, there are a few avenues below you can use to find the content of your letter.
While it may seem daunting, staring at a blank piece of paper or a blank computer screen, there are a few angles you can take to start your letter.
Write about your love for them. Describe the memories you love and make it stand out that you are thankful you have.
Write about how you honored their memory. Some people like to keep commemorative boxes with some trinkets to help preserve the memory of their loved one. You may want to add photo engraved jewelry to the box or purchase commemorative portraits for your home.
Ancient Egyptian Conception Of The Soul
You could also talk about memories that casually made you laugh or how a particular song that made it to the radio made you think of them.
In all honesty, you should digress and talk about whatever is on your mind. The letter doesn’t have to have a single purpose or flow towards it. It is simply a way for you to go through what you are currently feeling, out from within you and into the universe. If you want your letter to have a particular purpose, ask yourself one of the following questions:
Remember that the grieving process is not linear and it may take several letters to cry properly. You are unlikely to be able to address everything in one letter, regardless of the length of the letter.
Sometimes it can be helpful to attribute a quote or saying to your loved one. Some nice ones include:
Mentions Learning From A Letter That His Brother, Sam Gunn, Had Cholera, And Comments On William Shakespeare’s Reasons For Writing As You Like It. Transcription: Thought Of Me On Christmas Day ?
“Those we love can never be more than a distant thought, as long as there is a memory, they live in our hearts to stay.” – Unknown.
“Death leaves a pain that no one can heal; love leaves a memory that no one can steal ”. – Irish tombstone.
“We thought you were in love today, but that’s not new. We thought about you yesterday and even days before. We think of you in silence, we often say your name. Now, all we have are the memories and your photo in a frame. Your memory is our memory, from which we will never part. God has you in his custody, we have you in our hearts ”. – Unknown.
“Your life has been a blessing, your memory a treasure. You are loved beyond words and missed beyond measure ”- Renee Wood.
The Death Letter Project
These are just a few of the thousands available. If you don’t like the ones you’ve found, try writing some poetry or sayings yourself to see if you can find something that is more suitable for your loved one.
While there are no rules as to how much you should write or what format your letter should take, you generally want to reach out to your loved one and note the date. Of course, like traditional letters, you may want to close with your love to help the writing process come to an end. For those who don’t know where to start, here is a letter from Richard Feynman to his wife, who died of tuberculosis at the tender age of 25.
October 17, 1946 D’Arline, I love you, honey. I know how much you like to hear it – but I don’t write it just because you like it – I write it because it warms me up inside. It has been so long since I last wrote to you – almost two years but I know you will excuse me because you understand how I am, stubborn and realistic; and I thought it made no sense to write. But now I know that my dear wife is right to do what I have been slow to do, and that I have done so much in the past. I want to tell you that I love you. I want to love you. She will always love you. I find it hard to understand in my mind what it means to love you after you are dead, but
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